Although I truly can’t believe its been another week, here we are on another week of our Summer Blog Series. Incase you haven’t been following along, my girl Navy and I are hosting a series of blog posts this summer where 8 other ladies (so 10 total) write on the same topic. Different ladies, different topic each week. This week we are writing on a topic that was requested in Instagram stories on balancing social media and blogging in our marriages and family. That’s a big topic for sure, so I decided to write about social media and marriage. I wrote about balancing being a work from home mom and that side of things already in this post, so be sure to read that one too!
When Social Media is your Job
Social media is hard on marriage. There is no other way to put that. Pretty much everyone in my age bracket has social media, or maybe its phone games, or whatever it might be at their finger tips. Having a handheld distraction is not easy. Sam and I have definitely gone through our fair share tiffs concerning phone usage, MOSTLY on my front. I will say that in some ways that has gotten easier because now social media is my job. That might sound weird but for us it’s true.
I probably don’t spend that much more time on my phone than I did prior to doing this job as far as social media. (I definitely am on my computer more tho). I think the difference is that now my social media surfing serves a purpose, and is also something I WANT TO SHUT OFF from time to time. But I do want to sort of preface the rest of this blog post with that. I think there is this common misconception that bloggers or influencers live on their phones, but the reality of it is, it isn’t always much more than the average person in todays day and age.
Designate Times away
I talked about this a couple of weeks ago, but one way that I try really hard to balance social media and my marriage (as well as my relationships with others) is to put it away from time to time. You will notice that I am not a blogger that doesn’t tons of stories all day every day. I find if I have put my phone down I am less likely to get sucked in.
If I have plans in the evening I do what I need to do social media wise in the morning, or vise versa. Also don’t get me wrong – that is only possible about 90% of the time. There are social things that get interrupted at times. But there are also social things that are interrupted by my husbands job at times. I think we know we both try to balance that as best we can, and thats really all that matters.
I also pretty much take every Friday off. Sam and I do date night nearly every Friday ( I talk about that here). For us that has been vital for our own mental sanity as well as our marriage. Because of that I try to make Fridays a day where I don’t focus on work. If I am on Instagram its for enjoyment, and when we go on date night I TRY to keep my phone put away.
One reason I actually got an Apple Watch was because I wanted to be able to go on date night and keep my phone in my purse on silent and still know if our sitter needed me. Because otherwise I found myself laying it on the table and when it is right there its very tempting. Remembering that there is literally nothing you’re ever going to miss that will cause backlash In your life thats on your phone, but the same can not be said about the people you are with is important.
Be On the Same Page
If social media or phones are an issue, or could become one in your marriage be on the same page. ASK your spouse if there are certain times that it bothers them to see you on your phone. TRY to be mindful of that and respect one another. I think one thing that is so funny about 99% of the marriages I have seen is that almost all of them have one person who is more into social media than the other.
My husband hardly has it at all. But he watches videos, reads the news, and listens to pod casts all the time. To me these are the same things. (aka distractions from the people around us that are at his finger tips). IN NO WAY is he has bad about it as me, but he still has his ‘bad habits’ when it comes to his phone. I think over the years we have become aware that our phone usage is different but not necessarily worse than the other ones. (mine is definitely worse but still haha).
Don’t Keep Secrets
Social media also has a way of being able to become a bad place in a marriage due to secrets. This is just personal for Sam and I, and although I haven’t ever checked his and he has never checked mine (except the 2 million times I ask him to get on my Instagram for work related help), it would never phase me for him to be on my phone and social media accounts and he knows that. I also feel the same about him. I have posted photos for him on his Instagram when he got confused (total old man), and never would that make him worried. I think when your phones aren’t a space where you feel your spouse is getting away from you it makes it less damaging.
Keeping social media just as honest as any other area of your life will allow for social media and your phone to have a lot less of an issue in your marriage.
I know those pieces of advice might not be amazing. We are trailblazers on having social media be a part of our families. But it isn’t going anywhere. So talk about it and be on the same page so that it doesn’t become something thats a negative part of your marriage.
Check Out the Other Bloggers This Week
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